twenty.

"shut up rachel ray"

shut up rachel ray.
youre not even hot.
well sort of.
youre kind of hot.
i'd watch you eat dunk'n donuts.
naked.

give meeeee a show oprah winfrey.
i'll put on a fake new york accent and make blah italian dishes for thirty-something housewives.
i'll endorse random things and wear scarves that make me look like a terrorist.
i'll wax your beaver for you.
sorry...i meant your va-jay-jay.

shut up rachel ray.
so i can get a job on network television.
opposite ellen degeneres' time slot.
and people will pick me over her.
and they'll say that i am the funniest lesbian alive.