311.

"311 - band or entry?"

is this an entry or a band name or one hundred less than an informational phone line



ANSWER:

neither all both one which one the middle one the last one the first one none all some
waaa waaaa waaaaaaaa...don't write about my tattoo on facebook i dont want people to know about
she texted secretly

310.

"today i parked on the sidewalk"

unintentionally intentional
walked off the sidewalk and into target
bought eight matching black hats
named them one by one
until all were named

and all their names were the same
'one by one' i said already
so me and my eight matching same-named hats left target
got back in my car back on the sidewalk
and drove away me and them, one by one

today i parked parked parked on the sidewalk
and no one can tell me to do otherwise

tomorrow maybe i will do the same
bitches

iii OH nine.

"phonetically speaking."

feeling completely one hundred percent (one million percent)
read: one billion percent
unoriginal
ununique
uninspired
uncreative
unproductive
unmarketable
unblah blah blah

not unloved not feeling that
and not feeling unworked
and not feeling un-tv-watching-ed
and not feeling un-music-listening-ed
un-dog-hanging-out-with-ed
un-ready-to-get-out-of-this-country-ed
un-not-ready-to-get-out-of-this-country-ed

but just unorginal
and the rest
times one hundred
(times one million)
read times one billion

and so on

308.

"anonymous sex."

is not casual as it used to be. is not AS casual as it used to be -- correction. fuck anonymous sex. why not meet someone and shake their hands before you shake their dicks and shake their clits? i love a hand much more than a clit anyway. i pass on clits all the time.

anonymous sex is so 1994. down with 1994. up with 2007 (or 8 or 9 -- or 10)

307.

"heads will roll"

thinking that blogging thru poetry is about as gay as 1994. maybe prose is the wave of the future. perhaps i'll get nominated for a bloggie in 2007 -- if there is such a thing and if there is such a year. i bought tons of musick on itunes today for instance 'heads will roll' for instance '3' for instance 'white liar' for instance '(something by arcade fire)'. i'm excited about listening to such downloads on my new mini ipod which is maybe called a nano maybe called a mini maybe called the cutest damn thing i've ever laid my hands on. i'm indifferent about everything else in the whole world. except xanax. i love xanax. and that one special someone who is so damn cute as the damndest ipod thing in the whole world (have i written this all before? how am i not myself?)

306.

"i am p diddy's star maker"

to the left to the left
been listening to mad musick about mad things
been spitting rhymes on yeah yeah yeahs tracks
been winding and dining and making bills

been waiting for my big break and then just been sitting
been sitting and diddy been walking in
and he been like what up what up
then he like heyyyyy you are a star

and i'm like good
and then i'm skipping work tomorrow

305.

"the lake house"

like a sandy bullock movie
spinning in time all alone freezing on the lake
thinking that maybe maybe maybe someday i'll catch up to you
i'll see you again we'll be together and we'll listen to the fray
covering some silly hip hop song

isn't life just a silly sandy movie
isn't everybody about to turn in their two weeks notice
and float on hope
aren't we all writing letters to future people who live in our houses
or being rascist and falling downstairs

miss you
but like sandy says
and jesse james says
...
i dont know
they don't really have any famous quotes

304.

"television dim-sum"

new york tomorrow
so catching up on my blogs (my stories)
kenneth is doing that
and perez is doing this
(can't stop listening to new leona lewis btw)

jp that larry this
larry larry larry
watching korean chinese japanese tv
enlivening creativity and making me smile
tears dried on my face like old sperm across the bedding

the hgtv inspired neutral bedding
that i bought at target
on sale
with dried sperm on it
(whose is that again? whose is that?)

303.

"home"

strange.
but home.

threehundredandtwo.

"this is goodbye (part three)"

and the most important (important-est) part
you is my world, boo
my world my world my world

you rock AND/OR roll me
and i would not have it anyother way
any any other way

i'll be back soon
sooner than you think
keep the hood bed house love warm for me

you crazy foxy rocker AND/OR roller

threehundredandone.

"this is goodbye (part two)"

parents
they just dont aint cant wont will understand
but you (guys) do
(sometimes often never almost always)

thanks for what you do
thanks for what you dont do
thanks for what you aint cant will do
(you're the best?)

no question mark
no question mark
(lol lol lol jk jk jk)
you're the best!

threehundred.

"this is goodbye (part one)"

goodbye my little puppy dog
you've gotten pretty big over the last a thousand days
(a thousand?)
(is that even a number?)
(is this a parentheses party?)
(yes, weren't you invited?)
(weren't i? of course i weren't)
(quelle horror)
(quelle quelle horror)
as i was saying
goodbye dog
no more little puppy
man dog
huge giant beast who will be my best friend forever
when i come back too
while i am gone too
(man's best friend?)
(is that too trite?)
(too trite indeed)
(too too trite)
goodbye

twoninerniner.

"ready"

been here a while
in this house in this room in this country
in this life
ready for a change

change?
throw away word thrown this away and that away
2009: the year of change
how ironic

i'm ready but it's going to be WEIRD
weird weird weird
what isn't though
what the fuck isn't weird

nada
nothing
zilchhhhhhhhhhhhh
everything is fucking WEIRD including me including you

including JOHN motherfucking LEGEND

2ninereight.

"just because i don't want to end up like you"

i'm going to smile even though i am sad
just because i don't want to end up like you
i'm going to talk about my feelings and my thoughts and such
just because i don't want to end up like you
i'm going to hug people always and always say 'i love you'
(or 'i like you' or 'hey, you're neat')
just because i don't want to end up like you
i'm going to change jobs when i feel like my job is taking over my life
and go to new jobs in new arenas with new people and new things to do
and new places to see and new t-shirts to buy
just because i don't want to end up like you
and i'm going to change my name and change the world and wear interesting clothes
and smoke weed and be happy to meet people and be extroverted and be introverted
(when the time seems right) and laugh a lot and not pick on people who love me and
not take shit out on people who love me and not fight fight fight with people who
love me

just because i don't want to end up like you

twoniner7.

"thoughts"

i have thoughts
that i would like to share with (ahem) you
and (ahem) you over there too
(ahem)

i watch hgtv
for 100 hours a week
so what
who doesnt

i go to work at 6 and come home by 10
every day
so what
who doesnt

i am terribly terribly alone
all the time even around people
so what
who isnt

i love the beck's 'odelay'
more than breathing
so what
who doesn't

i am cool cool cool
at everything
so what
who isnt

(ahem)
you
(ahem)
are not

2niner6.

"this is march, bitch"

this is march
a month that makes me smile
but it is also a sad month
relatively speaking

i am leaving leaving gone
in march
but it will be okay and it will be a...
learning experience...

and a life experience
and a breathing feeling needing loving experience
and more
and less

welcome march
we (i) welcome you with open arms
ready for you to go now though
ready for you (i) to leave

295.

"democracy on the dancefloor"

andy warhol said it best
and it think it translates into the real world
beyond the glitz glamour of studio 54
beyond the factory
beyond edie and the lot

'dictatorship at the door,
democracy on the dancefloor'

it's like you know
you keep people at bay when you first meet them
you don't let them break thru any walls
don't let them see the true you
or touch your heart

but once they're thru those big brassy fat ass doors
once their past the velvet rope etc. etc.
you let them become a part of you
and what they think matters
and what you think matters

dictatorship first
democracy forever

294.

"pretentious sundays"

yes, i did go to the book store
and buy bukowski and burroughs
william s. type
to pretentiously pretent

even though i would love to have bought the twilight series
(not)
or the perez hilton book
(double not)

i'm way too pretentious for that mess
although chelsea handler's novela looks quite readable
and i do enjoy a chuck klosterman and/or
david sedaris essay on occasion

give me your faulkners
your vonneguts
your harper lees
i am pretentious and i want the world to know it

293.

"show me all the rules, girl"

been a long long while
but not too too much has happened
been real lonely
even though wicked lots of people are around

been wicked tired
even though real lots of sleep is happening

been here i guess
might as well why not where else to be

fuck
creative block

as in stuck
not as in the street of creativity

292.

"eat it"

eat eat eat my meat
as a snack
or a midday treat

eat eat eat my meat
for dessert
or for (something that rhymes with 'meat')

291.

"i heart"

the person who took this picture
and the place the person took it in
and the time i spent
with the person
in the place

290.

"gosh gosh where to begin"

new york was more than i ever thought new york was ever
thought
more


crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy times
where to begin
the start

car drive airport plane
raleigh new york jfk queens dim friends apt
home rest museum closed

drink drink drink drink
mr. black senor noir -- is this a place that used to be cool?
non

home thoughtful uninspired bored boring
really rebel? really chad jack?
sleep hangover

the search for andy warhol
chelsea hair of the dog rocking horse cafe
walk walk walk soho west village east village meatpacking district

washington square park is what??? CLOSED?!?
lame moving on around the city home
back to queens sleep sleep sleep after bbc

wake up chill long island dinner
orientals vs. asians
a broadway musical of sorts

gay gay gay
the eagle hairy beary scary make out party session
anger sad but ok in the end

HOME
(wish you had been there)
(glad you were with me)

289.

"when i go to new york city i'm bringing my toothbrush..."

and going to the original factory
and the dakota
to smell john lennon
and to mr. black
cause it's so chic
it's really bringing back old new york
and the spirit

of leigh bowery

do you remember him?
leigh, that is
nor do i
but i watched a docu-drama on the subject
and am quite interested
on the subject
in the subject
above the subject

ill also be seen in the park
which park?
all of them
especially washington
and
central
parks
be there
revolt

288.

"bucking the trend"

its a day for revolutions
changes
black presidents
white prostitutes
lesbians
and such

its a day for revolutions
changes
orange oprahs
salmon painted walls
'salmon' rushdie-d beach towels
and such

its a day for revolutions
changes
in temperature
in value (monetary or otherwise)
in life
and such

its a day for revolutions
changes

twohundredandeightyseven.

"not alone in this multi colored jackson pollock look-a-like world"

you look a lot like the guy who plays jackson pollock on the film screen

ed harris?

roger

roger harris?

no, roger you look like ed harris

is it because im bald

no, because you are sideways

is it because i like melanie griffith

yes, and prostitution

is it because i am square and gray and have a lot of awards

si si si, it is because of all of those reasons

and more?

and more

twohundredandeightysix.

"going back"

back back back to the palisades
back to mr. black
back to bushwick
back to amanda lepore
and cocaine and purple lights and bathrooms

back back back to old manhattan
back to fake ass bitches
back to rich ass bitches
back to fake rich ass bitches
and love and sadness and pain

going back

twohundredandeightyfive.

"thanks mom and dad."

thanks.

that's all.

but i mean it.

twohundredandeightyfour.

"hey mickey, how's the worms?"

1971
new york city
al pacino is there
chipping in needle park

i'm not there
fourteen years too soon
but i would've been
fucking boosting kitty litter from the pick n' pay

'i don't like to wake up alone'
say it again again again again, helen
'if i went away somewhere,
would you come with me'

a thousand times yes
africa or ft. wayne
forget the encyclopedias
you're folks will love me regardless

twohundredandeightythree.

"i am curious: turquoise"

it's coming back to me
the creativity
like a sexual politico pseudo magical
revolution

1967
where were you
sweden
doing what?

revolutionizering

how did that go for you
quite splendidly actually
made films, two of them, one amarillo one turquoise
split the two into another two

orange and cream
they were both quite revolutionary
although i lost the film
before i was able to make a copy

tragisaddery

twohundredandeightytwo.

"hiatus"

going to take a hiatus
until i get creative again
and cool

where did my creativity
(and coolness)
go?

africa
it fucking went to africa
without me

twohundredandeightyone.

"my week in schedules"

MONDAY
wakeup
go to work
do things that are medium fun
do things that are not so medium fun
go home
play with the dog
go to bed

TUESDAY
wakeup
go to work
do things that are the same fun as the the day before
ditto
go home
play with the dog
go to bed

WEDNESDAY
(see Monday)

THURSDAY
(see Wednesday)

FRIDAY
(see Thursday)

SATURDAY
party

SUNDAY
pray

REPEAT!

twohundredandeighty.

"e.m.o.t.i.o.n.a.l."

that time of the month i guess
i guess you could say that i guess
i guess it might probably possibly could be true
i guess i am an emotional wreck
i guess

i guess i am lonely and sad and tired and awake
i guess i can't sleep because i don't know how to go to bed alone
i guess i have been eating so much in an effort to fill the hole in me
i guess that it hurts
i guess

twohundredandseventynine.

"live from the academy sag golden awards emmy tony globes"

chic formal wear
representing art on screen and tv and writing
directoring producering fashioning drivering
i want to be a part of this industry for sure
and drivering

i should wish to soon write something amazing
and it will star...
anne hathaway
claire danes
johnny depp
tina fey
yves st laurent
rosario dawson
mickey rourke
angelina and brad
my friend john
floyd (my dog)
my first grade teacher, mrs. bunce
that guy from 'dexter'
william shatner
kyra sedgewick
david beckham
posh spice also
the cast of entourage
'ugly betty's' america ferarrrrrrra

AND MORE!

twohundredandseventyeight.

"this this this is a very relaxing day"

T: by relaxing do you mean boring?
J: yes. that is what i meant.
T: i think that yes that yes that yes it is boring but in a good way?
J: hmmm....

(thirty minutes of thinking about boringness and what not)

T: ok what is your answer?
J: IN A GREAT WAY!!!!! FINAL ANSWERRRRRRRRR

twohundredandseventyseven.

"i took care of your dog today"

it made me miss you even more
and made me think that i can't wait until october
which is stupid
because i'll see you before that

but it won't be normal in february
and it will be weird weird weird
in march april may
june july august september

i'll be gone til october
i'll be gone til october
(chorus x2)

twohundredandseventysix.

"hard getting out of bed this morning"

lonely bed
you're pretty big when i look at you this way
when it's just you and me
and yards and miles and years of space

i know you had to go
and i know you will be back
but it doesn't mean i won't listen to emo music the whole time you're gone
and think about the moment i get to see you again

twohundredandseventyfive.

"little big big little big big little big"

has it really been 8 months
since the beginning of this 'writing'
on this 'internet'

nearly 8 i suppose
i could look up the exact date last 'whatever month'
but i am much much too busy

i could look up the 'month' too
but who has the time
or the energy

or the desire

happy anniversary

twohundredandseventyfour.

"melt"

goodbye
it was nice having you for a day
blink and the blanket is gone type of day

see you next year
or the year after that depending upon how youre feeling
how global warming and el nino also are feeling

it was real
real cold and real wet
i'm ready for summer

twohundredandseventythree.

"SNOW DAY"

OH MY GOSH
IT IS A SNOW DAY
WHICH IS UNBELIEVABLY THE COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD
I FEEL LIKE A JEWISH MAN WHOSE FAMILY WAS ALMOST ALL KILLED
AND THEN I HAVE A BABY
(A LA A KURTY V. SHORT STORY)

OH MY GOSH
IT IS A SNOW DAY
IT IS A TOP DOWN WIND IN THE HAIR NO WORK KIND OF DAY
FUCK WORK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WORK
(A LA A KURTY V. SHORT STORY)

twohundredandseventytwo.

"cuter than michael stipe et al"

heck had we been photoblogged for 'the selby'
(whatever so much that is)
we would have been much cuter perhaps
perhaps a little more pretentious
but certainly much cuter

we don't have as many bricks as they do
and that is a huge concern of mine
but i digress
cuter is in the eye of the beholder
of the smart REM loving beholder

rock me rock me rock me sexy michael stipe
http://www.theselby.com/12_10_08_michael_stipe_thomas/index.html

twohundredandseventyone.

"thanks for sharing a latte with me"

even if you are sick
it seems like we have only a little amount of time together left
so maybe i won't worry about getting sick
or get mad over stupid bull shit
or start petty baby whiny fights

there's like a hundred million things i want to say before the end
but the end keeps coming faster and faster and i don't know when to do it
or what what what exactly to say
i know i can't sing it to you
i already got kicked off of 'american idol' once this week

i will miss you with the fire of a thousand misses
hope you have a safe trip to where you are going
and when we come back we will make the best of the couples of weeks we have left
and then fuck what is six seven eight months anyway?
nothing we can't survive

i love YOU

twohundredandseventy.

"i have these two characters in mind"

one is a pseudo elliot smith intellectual homosexual
one is a edie sedgewick spiraling out of control
together mayhem
apart mayhem
together apart mayhem

i know they will go to a health clinic
and she will get tested
cause i already wrote that
but what happens next
i think they should go to the factory and pretend to be warhol and edie

andy and edie
baby and lady
can i call you baby?
no
ok, i gotta get out of this office this makes no sense ramble ramble ramble i will never be creative again tragedy comedy tragedy comedy ramble

(from sept 08 but posted jan 09 -- how chic)

twohundredandsixtynine.

"this is the second scene...of an entirely different movie"

EXT. HOUSE, BACK PORCH - DAY
TEE is using a leaf blower to clean off the back porch. JAY is seated in a
reclining chair, his feet up, a margarita in his hand.
The noise of the leaf blower is deafening. Sweat drips off of TEE's forehead.
He is such a dilligent, hard, amazing worker. He should win awards.
TEE, finished with the cleaning of the back porch, shuts off the leaf blower.
TEE: Can I take a break now, Jay?
JAY: What does this look like? Break time? Are we on the break porch or the
work porch?
TEE: The break porch?
JAY: No. We are on the work porch!
TEE: But you're not working.
JAY: I don't have to work. I am all powerful. I drink margaritas and order
people around. I am a supervisor. I am an executive. I am an officer.
TEE: I am sad.
JAY: WORK!
TEE turns the leaf blower machine back on and begins cleaning off the porch
again. He also cries...a lot.

twohundredandsixtyeight.

"this is a movie"

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
JOHN enters and finds TONY laying on the couch playing 'Sonic Unleashed' on Wii.
JOHN: Hey, what are you doing there looking so cool?
TONY: Nothing. Just being cool. That is all.
JOHN: Wow. That looks really easy for you. Can you explain for me how to
also be cool?
TONY: Oui.
CUT TO:
INT. GARAGE - DAY
TONY stands in front of a chalkboard. JOHN sits staring at the board, drooling.
JOHN hangs on every word that TONY speaks.
TONY: Step one in being cool. Be cool.
TONY slams a ruler against a blank chalkboard.
TONY: Questions?
JOHN raises his hand in the air to ask a question.
TONY slams the ruler against the chalkboard again.
TONY: Step two: No questions!
JOHN's hand slowly comes down.
TONY: Now in order to be truly cool you must follow those two rules to a 'T'.
JOHN: As in 'Tony'?
TONY: Exactly.
JOHN: Grrrrr.
TONY: Huh?
JOHN: Like a tiger. Grrrr like a tiger.
TONY: Got you. Not cool.
JOHN cries.

twohundredandsixtyseven.

"sitting on a chair that feels like a nail chair"

it is so cold outside i could nail nails with carrots
nail them into thick real hard wood
and then unnail them
really?
no not really
not on the last part

this chair feels like a carrot-nailed thick hard real wood chair
and it's not as comfortable as you might think
it's like cutting off your leg
and then eating your leg
while you are still alive
and bleeding

not not not comfortable
feels like when your fingernails bend off your fingers
nail fingernail chair
that's what it is
but i like it in the meantime
in the in between time

'you go for yours and i'll go for mine'

twohundredandsixtysix.

"vin diesel jeans"

i have vin diesel jeans
which in so much means that i can drive really fast on snow mobiles
and that i can say clever things such as
..."but i was dead"
and perhaps
"you're nothing but a package to me"

i put my jeans on
i wear them out
i punch people and kick people
and then i share them with my friends
yes
the members of the traveling vin diesel jeans brigade

tear
it is sad
kicking ass like we do
and discovering ourselves
moments in time
learning from each other
and from the pants

diesel

twohundredandsixtyfive.

"can you read the words that are coming out of my hands?"

i'm not not not (EXCLAMATION POINT) going back to work
(PERIOD)
at least for the rest of the day (EXCLAMATION POINT)
(COMMA) and then after that i will decide further
(PERIOD)

like tomorrow (COMMA) that will be a new day of consideration
(SEMICOLON) a day when i can relax and clear my mind
(COMMA) read a book (COMMA) walk the dog (COMMA) skinny dip in a skinny lake
(PERIOD

(QUOTE) tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow (END QUOTE)
what a quotable quote (EXCLAMATION POINT)
someone famous wrote it
(PERIOD) (COMMA) (COLON) (SEMICOLON) (EXCLAMATION POINT) (END QUOTE)

twohundredandsixtyfour.

"tiredofreadingyourblog"

itsboringtritelameinsanehorriblelovelyinteresting
allthethingsthatihateloveneedheedreadbleedandmore
butimdonereadingyoursbecauseyounevermentionmeanymore
whatthefuckmostisthataboutyousillycuntburgerface
(iamtryingtogetallthelinestobethesamelengthunsuccessfully)

illreadalittlewhilelonger;youhaveaboutfourmoreblogs
tokeepmeinterestedandafterthatimgoingtohavetosearch
foranewblogormaybegiveuptheinternetentirelyandinvent
anewformofsocialexpressioncalleda'flog'ora'sog'anditwill
beneatforsure.lindsaylohanwillreaditandwriteonitifthatmeans
anythingtoyou(psitshouldbecausesheisonehotredheadtit)

lovemelovemelovemeiimploreyouasiwritethisandthinkabout
howmuchmoreinterestingmyblogisthanyourblogyoupatheti-blog
gobacktowisconsingobacktoconnecticutgobacktoharlemgogogo
iwillquityourblogbecomeagogoandwritemyownuniquegogoblog
(probablymorethanlikelysomeonehasalreadycomeupwiththatidea)

twohundredandsixtythree.

"do you want to move to connecticut with me"

seeing as how you love cold
and an ivy league education
you should move move away away
avec moi, sil vous plait

being as how you are from the south
and you enjoy warmness education
you should move move away away
mit mir, (germans don't say please)

MOVE WITH ME
in a couple of years
IT WILL BE GREAT
you will be see KNEE everything!

twohundredandsixtytwo.

"sorry i have been so busy"

sorry. i have been so busy. i have been so busy eating cookies. and you know how i love cookies. eating. girl. i'm not one to complain or anything, hardy har har, but i have been working myself to the bone (and eating cookies) lately. i have been busy working myself to the bone eating cookies specifically. white ones. brown ones. white and brown ones. white and brown ones in the middle of a pudding sandwich. busy with them all. but i will not be busy too much longer. since cookies are endangered. jan 31 2009 -- the day the cookies went extinct. tear tear tear.

twohundredandsixtyone.

"rah rah radiohead"

seriously for a second. i had a dream that i would like to share about rah rah paula abdul and if you want to hear it you can listen and if you don't you can fuck yourself sideways. i care not which path you chose, but only that you choose one and not teeter-totter on the decision for far longer than it would take for me to weave this tale. rah rah. have you decided? alright. then i shall continue. no shit. there i was. giving it to rah rah paula abdul high and dry meat shaft in beef curtains dick on pussy dick in pussy D in P D in A D in M(outh) all that and then V in A and P in A and A/P in D and all the variances in between. hot to say the least. and then just as rah rah paula abdul and myself are about to rah rah climax...simon cowell and his man-boobs (hereafter referred to as moobssss) walk in and ruin my nut. i pull out of rah rah paula and end up shooting a stream of jism that covers the walls and the walls to the windows etc and all over simon's skin tight black t-shirt and his underlying not so subtle moobssss. i was offended. rah rah paula was offended. simon was not so offended. he loves moob juice. of course. especially from seacrest. 'give me that moob juice, seacrest! all night long (in british accent and whatnot)'. rah rah rah. and radiohead was there too. rah.

twohundredandsixty.

"the beginning of non un-interesting-ness"

today was a crazy wild normal slightly sane day that consisted of sleeping in and then, upon the time when sleep had ended, as such, of waking up and running around and doing a lot of nothing and something. for instance there was some painting involved and some erranding and some horrible movie watching. recommendation: never ever ever ever see the movie 'i know who killed me' unless you want to be entertained for a million years with just how bad a movie it is and how lindsay and that guy from 'band of brothers' and that other girl could have made such a terrible career decision. i hope they got paid a lot of money. i hope they got paid millions upon millions of dollars. upon millions upon millions upon millions. i hope that. and then i hope they gave a little too charity; cause that's the right thing to do. give it to me even. give it to my charity. the charity that watches bad movies and gets money for it. next week we're screening the film 'towelhead' starring two-face from that new 'batman' movie. we're looking forward to the awkward pseudo-racist sex tale that's bound to unfold. send all comments to www.i_dont_like_comments.com.

twohundredandfiftynine.

"259 nothings that have added up to...259 nothings"

i haven't been interesting since july 2008
or maybe before that
maybe since the beginning
but definitely since july 2008

maybe interesting in the way that you would look at something boring
at something trite and predictable
and say
hmmmm...that's interesting

but really mean
hmmmm...that's un-interesting
or
hmmmm...that's so un-interesting that it's nothing

so un-interesting that i hyphenate 'un-interesting'
even if that is not interesting
even if
it is un-interesting

goal: become interesting
or
not un-interesting
in the near future

twohundredandfiftyeight.

"not looking forward to some things"

but in the positive i am also looking forward to some other things
so that should even out
we'll see
no more counting days
no more punting blue jays
no more hunting mercedes
benz
dealerships
down
with beebee guns

twohundredandfiftyseven.

"good to see you at harris teeter today"

i was dripping paint all morning
in expectation of seeing you this afternoon in the checkout line
you looked pretty
in that i-talk-about-you-behind-your-back sort of way

but it was honestly great to see you
hope you're having a lovely new year
hope no one stabs you in the back
or farts on your pillow

love,
your biggest fan
and friend
monica-caca lewinski

twohundredandfiftysix.

"good morning"

i've been trying to get a hold of you most of the morning
i think your phone is broken
you should call sprint and look into it
cause this is like the eighteenth time this has happened
or nineteenth

it's okay though
we will get through this
and play wii all day
and smile
and giggle

aww...days off are so niiiiiice

twohundredandfiftyfive.

"this is the greatest song i have ever heard in my whole life"

what song is it?
i'm not sure.
can we google it when we get home?
yah just remember some of the lyrics.
i think he said 'my dick's on fire'
no he said 'magic's a liar'
that don't make no sense
neither does your new haircut
what??!
you look like that guy from television
george clooney?
no
who?
spongebob squareface
oh i can see that
it's a fierce look don't get me wrong
well that's what i was going for so good
yah, good
'my dick's on fire!!!!'
'magic's a liar!!!!'
i love you
ditto

twohundredandfiftyfour.

"new year's resolutions"

overall theme is to be happy in life and live hard and have fun and whatnot.
under lying theme is that i rock and i shall continue to rock in 2009.

one. travel. north south east west midwest MIDDLE EAST.
two. love. give and get and give and give. found it and holding onto it.
three. work. do work girl. get that job rocking get that bod rocking.
four. quit. quit some of the shitty sucky things or limit them like drinking and pooping on people.

those are four.

also make new friends. write more. laugh more. sing more. download more music. explain to people that i don't really poop on people but that that was a joke more. look at porn more (or less). smile more. floss more. play with the dog more. more more more.

i'm glad to meet you 2009. i think this is going to be a great new FRIEND ship.

twohundredandfiftythree.

"shm-america's biggest loser"

i've never met a bigger loser than
this fellow i once met named stan
he had a daughter he had a son
he loved to laugh and enjoyed an occasional pun

but if you talked to stan past three
he would tell you of things he once did see
like orcs and dragonballs and jedis and such
loved star wars and sci fi and not else much

he was a nerd
A NERD
a nerd-o baggins
he liked to read
TO READ
and fight with dungeons and with dragons

NERD
LOSER
GEEK
AMERICA