twohundredandfiftytwo.

"excited about seeing you again until i can't see you anymore"

because you're disappearing.
or i am.
for about 6 to 10 to 12 months.
into thin air.
into thin middle eastern air.
but i am excited to be seeing you again.

for the next month and a half.
to see you everyday like the olden days.
and touch you.
and maybe talk you into growing out a beard again.
you sexy animal.
i wanna tattoo your face on my face.

then i can see you whenever i see me.

tattoo you on my eyeballs.
so i just see you.

twohundredandfiftyone.

"goodbye 2008"

until we meet again when you are 2009.
except you will be different.
and we will have a new relationship.
in which i will be a good little boy.
and not drink.
and go to the gym.
and not get in trouble.
and do work.
and do have fun.
but do have modest and moderate fun.
and find love.
and find friendship.
and find hope and joy.
and inspire the same in others.

until then 2009. until then.

twohundredandfifty.

"i come from glasgow and i bring glas-rock music"

o bands from foreign lands
laying rhymes and riffs in to our hands
our clammy american wanting more music hands
i hope you never go back to your home lands

british polish funkish coolish bands
beatles garbage glasvegas foolish mans
i dont care what your name is as long as you have accents, mans
and as long as there are four of you in the bands

these are rules that can or cannot be broken like sands
and there are more like don't or do start sentences with ands
and pay your manager or don't ten percent ands
go to beaches think of midlers and wiggle your toes in sands

twohundredandfortynine.

"newport harbor duldrums"

rocking back and forth on these plain waves
with billy joels' towering yacht in site
'you mangy piano mother fucker'
i might yell
but i'm only ten and he's only the world's greatest pianist
after elton
and that guy from vampire weekend
(really?)

i've been stuck here for years
back forth up down side side wave splash
i just need to run and jump into the plain sea
make waves
get back in the boat
and sail along
forever or until i can't see billy joel anymore
(fag)

waves is all i need
or wind
but i can't wait for someone else
making waves
making big fat ugly good bad rotten waves
back forth up down side side wave splash
first backwards then forwards movement
(finally...life)

twohundredandfortyeight.

"waisting time downloading second rate amy winehouse bootlegs"

adele, my dear,
maybe i will like you once you get skinny and start doing heroin
and get lots of tattoos

no one liked a fat winehouse
no one liked a sober winehouse
no one likes a long-island-looking-mother-fucking winehouse

adele, my dear,
lose the ELLE BEEs and do the PEE CEE PEEs
they go hand in hand, baby doll

(and get off the sidewalk)
(unless your cracked out and then by all means sleep on the sidewalk)
(it's great for your jazz image)

(plus adding get a new hairdo)
(one that might have come out of the 40s)
(watch old B-52s videos and get some inspiration)

sincerely,
your number one fan
lily allen

twohundredandfortyseven.

"little dogs make the best punching bags"

punch you in the face you squimy little yappy punching-in-the-face bag
wear sweatshirts and you try to crawl in the pockets
the pockets that are made for keeping hands warm
don't wear sweatshirts and you piss and shit all over the house

dont ask me why i just heard that somewhere
or saw it since you pissed and shat everywhere
when i was not wearing a sweatshirt
you little pukey yappy punch punch face face bag dog

i love you
i hate you
i punch you
i step on you

twohundredandfortysix.

"listening to quaint indie rock in the office of my carolina three bedroom"

far far far from the glitz glamour-rama of NYC
sure it would be nice nice nice to put on some heels and pull up the tights
throw on that glitter and start fight fight fights
but i'm too far far far from that glitz that glamour

mile mile miles away from her and me and she
such a distance from all those pee pee pee parties
such a life life lifetime from that shit
makes me wanna wanna wanna give up get out get home quit

i hate you north carolina
i hate you job i hate you space
i miss you new york city
i miss you glitz i miss you glamour i miss you bright shiny face

twohundredandfortyfive.

"a thousand and one things to do before christmas"

and i can't even name half of them
but i know i have a lot to do
and i know i have gum on my shoe
and i know yesterday i wore a tutu
go figure

i'll try to name half of them
i know i need to do paper work
and i know i need to punch a jerk
and i know i need to rent the movie 'clerk(s)'
go figure

beyond those things there are about 998 other things
some i know and some i do not
some i will learn some i have forgot
some because i'm dumb and some because i smoke WAY too much pot
go figure

twohundredandfortyfour.

"you are very tall"

tall and loud and funny
and i have to work with you
which makes this very hard

(awkward pause)

me: you're fired
you: why
me: you suck at your job

you: but i'm funny
me: true
you: so can i keep my job

(awkward pause)

me: no

twohundredandfortythree.

"first day of the last three months with you"

i'm glad we've had the last six months together
and i'm glad we have three more
at least
and i hope you know i love love love you

i love you and i want to be with you forever
but before forever
i have to be away from you for six to twelve months
but then i'll see you after that

and during it
and during it i hope i hope i hope
that's what the plan is
you know it i know it they know it

'it's seven thirtyyyyyyyyyy'

twohundredandfortytwo.

"twice the job twice the not life"

no no no no zero zero life
half day schedule plus two jobs equals...
i'm a loser and have no time off

maybe i'll get christmas off
nope.
no i won't

FUN
(but really yeah it is fun)
(but really yeah i don't get christmas off)

twohundredandfortyone.

"sunday morning sit down on chair club"

attention all sitter-downers
esp. sunday sitter-downers
there's a new club on the street
in which if you became a member you could sit down
with us
in the morning
of sunday

come one come all
to sit down on sunday
and just relax
and maybe talk about things
or not
in the morning
of sunday

'are you talking about church?'
'no.'
'it sounds like church'
'it's not'
'you're just tricking me into going to church'
'you got me'
in the morning
of sunday

twohundredandforty.

"76 days until there is no more days of freedom"

76 things to do everyday one per day so that i have done everything i need to do to say i have been free at one time:
(listen hard)
1. paint a room
2. flick off bitches
3. shit outside
4. shit inside
5. (drawing a blank for number 5)
6. think of things for number 5
7. (shit, this is harder than i thought)

if you have any suggestions for 76 things to 76 do before the end of freedom give me a holler

at www.mindyourbusiness.com

twohundredandthirtynine.

"two things i have to say about thomas' promises english muffins and then i'll be rid of them forever"

1. yes it is true my grandma invented them
she is a genius and loves burned things
she also like making skinny pointy gross bagels
that have the consistency of sand
she loves sand

2. the irish people love sandy skinny bagels for two reasons
a. they prepare themselves at all times for another potato famine
and thomas' promises english muffins will never go extinct
so if all the potatoes do they'll be fine
b. they like to torture themselves to make up for 'river dance'

questions?

twohundredandthirtyeight.

"your christmas decorations are killing the economy"

i can't sell my house because your christmas decorations make the neighborhood gay
they make it look like a gay-borhood
like your wise men
that are having anal sex with each other
people will see them penetrating and not want to move in

they will be like
'bartholomew is pentetrating the guy who brought mir'
and then they will be like
'i thought bartholomew was the one who brought mir'
and then they'll run home to look that up and not want to move in

your donkey is also gay
gay for other donkeys
which is making me nativity scene sick
sick with nativity nativeness anger rage porn
gay porn on your lawn that makes people not want to move in

gay christian porn at that
take a long hard look at your self in the mirror
take a look at your face
and at your lawn
and then you'll move out and not want to move in again

twohundredandthirtyseven.

"my creation for the day"

you shall be my greatest day creation, day creation
i don't know what you are, day creation
but you are great
you will march or talk or something
day creation
perhaps you will just sit
and being a conversation piece, day creation
like for example
someone might say 'look at that day creation'
after seeing you, day creation
wouldn't that be something?
it would
it certainly would, day creation...

oh. it's spelled 'decoration'...weird.

twohundredandthirtysix.

"too many things happened in too many short of times to too many talk about"

so skip it.
erase it. don't regret it. remember it.
move on.

it was fun in the way that getting eggs thrown at your head is fun.
in the way that having wet panty hose drip down your face is fun.
in the way that hanging out with ex girlfriends is fun.

skip skip skipping it all.
disregard the previous erase it. and regard the previous remember it.
then move on.